Twisted Christian Writings Husband, Father, Apprentice of Divinity, IT Professional, Bass Player, Hunter, Vegetable Gardener, Twisted Christian.

06 June 2014 ~ 1 Comment

Don’t seem to have the words

I keep trying to write out my feelings, but the words don’t seem to flow. They come out haltingly, scattered. I can’t form sentences to adequately explain the feelings that are running through my head, hurting my heart. There seems no end to the pain, not just for me, but for those around me. Friends being […]

28 April 2014 ~ 1 Comment

It’s been good, but it always returns

My last post was mid-March, and this week marks the end of April. I’d say that’s been a pretty good 6 weeks. Well, I’d say that, but in reality I’m not sure if that is so true. It is true that I haven’t thought of Derek much, and when I have it’s been fleeting and […]

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14 March 2014 ~ 1 Comment

Thinking about the Future

I don’t know how to exist without Derek in my future. He’ll always be part of my past, but never again will he be part of my future or my present, and I’ve avoided thinking of him in such. I’ve spend the last two and a half months living in the present, a present devoid […]

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01 March 2014 ~ 1 Comment

It is with a heavy heart…

“It is with a heavy heart…” A heavy heart. What is a heavy heart? It is the term used when announcing bad news, when tragedy has struck, when something life altering has happened. I never really understood it. I had the ability to empathize, but it wasn’t something I had experienced. It wasn’t something I […]


26 February 2014 ~ 0 Comments

The Life of Derek

The video clip below is a nice summary of Derek’s life in pictures. I think it was the night before his funeral that we sat and went through quite a lot of pictures and chose some to put to song and show as a slideshow at his funeral. The song is Wagonwheel by Darius Rucker. […]

20 February 2014 ~ 1 Comment


Brothers 1

We know we won’t grow old with our parents. We know they will die before us. We know this and accept it. It is a natural part of life. For the most part, we don’t give it much conscious thought. As they get older, we understand our time with them is coming to a close […]

20 February 2014 ~ 3 Comments

Unable to Pray

(written 20/02/12, yesterday afternoon) I’m really struggling with prayer. I can’t say the words. For me anyway, not for others. I can still pray for others. I can still pray for whatever it is that people need prayer for, but I can’t seem to pray for myself. This morning as I was walking between campuses […]

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19 February 2014 ~ 3 Comments

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That

Derek at our wedding

I tend to think about Derek carefully. Not so much regarding what I think about, but how I think about him. I probe about the edges of memories. I picture him fleetingly. I’m wary. I treat my memories as though they are dangerous places. I’m scared. I dart in and out, never sticking around for long […]

14 February 2014 ~ 5 Comments

Time Marches On

It’s been six weeks since Derek’s death. I understand that isn’t very long at all, but at the same time, it feels as though time is quickly slipping away. I hold onto that time because the longer it has been since his death, the longer it has been since his death. The longer it has […]

12 February 2014 ~ 2 Comments

Eulogy for Derek

The following is the eulogy I read at Derek’s funeral. There were 5 of us that got up and shared a bit about him and this was my portion. ______ Every one of us here this morning has a story to tell about Derek and it is my honour to share a bit about my […]

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