A TwistedChristian Dad

On Monday I hang up my SAHD hat. I’m all done. My 37 week stint as a stay-at-home-dad is complete, and that makes me sad. It’s been a blast these past 9 months, spending all day, every day with my son. But alas, it is no more.

For the past couple of months I have been transitioning back into the work force working part-time at this new job I accepted. A job that allows me to go to school AND work, something I wouldn’t have been able to do had I stayed at my previous job, not without sacrificing time with my son.

This past week we began the transition to childcare. We have this amazing lady from church, S, with a 2 year old daughter that will be taking care of Bean. Mondays and Tuesdays she will come to our house and Thursdays and Fridays he will be dropped off with her. Even then, Monday is the only full day he will be with her, with the other three days just being half-days due to my wife’s work schedule.

I do like that she has a 2 year old, and will also be taking care of a 1 year old on Thursdays and Fridays. Bean hasn’t had a ton of social interaction other than church and a weekly breastfeeding group that Mama Bean attends, so this will be good for him.

It felt very strange on Monday morning as I packed up to leave for work, knowing I was leaving him there with S. She is an amazing person, and if my son behaves anywhere near as well has her daughter, I will be overjoyed. So I have no fears leaving Bean with her as I know she is more than capable. It is the loss of control that bothers me.

For the past 37 weeks I have been in total control. My wife and I have been the only influences in his life. We have been the only ones to provide for him, to take care of him. Until now, we have been his everything. All that is about to change.

It is going to be an adjustment for me. Not only being back at work full time, but being away from Bean so much. He’s going to grow up and change, and I won’t be there to witness it all. I won’t get to see everything first hand. What if he takes his first steps with her? Says his first word to her? Aren’t these things parents are supposed to experience with their children?

I think it will make me appreciate our time together even more. Although I appreciate every moment I spend with Bean, and have since he was born, being away from him all day will make the days all that more special. I am looking forward to that. Even today as he spent the afternoon with S, when I got home I got lots of smiles. (it took him a few min as I chopped off my mop of hair and he’s never seen me with short hair)

So things are changing. Good changes. Positive changes. I need to keep the bigger picture in mind and not focus on the loss of control but on the growth of our family.

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